This is the hardest post I’ve written. Not because I can’t think of anything to say about this beautiful little girl, but because I don’t know how to say it. The words don’t come as easily with someone so close to my heart. Maybe it should be the opposite, but that’s not the way it works when I’m with her. She brings unspeakable joy. But staring at her photographs…the ache runs deep.
She was the first to make me a mama. She’s changed my life, of course, but not in the way I would’ve expected. That sweet smile provoked by jokes no one else would understand, those crazy pigtails that she makes me put in every single day, the pink Hello Kitty Crocs that don’t match her outfit, the marker drawing of a sheep on her arm…That’s my girl! And she is the inspiration behind my Sunshine Sessions.
The struggle has been great, but so have the blessings. God has shown up in the midst of this storm in ways that I never would’ve experienced living the “normal” life I once desired. This parenting journey has brought with it a kind of pain I didn’t know existed. But, at the end of the day, there is a purpose behind it all. And if given the chance, I wouldn’t change her for the world.
Our story is complicated. But the truth is simple: I love her with a depth that words cannot express.
***All Images are Copyright of Amy Felix Photography***